To train or not to train is not the question! How are you training? That's the question.
You are training your child every day, whether consciously or not. You are either training them to be submissive to a wiser, higher authority, or you are training them to assert their will and cater to bodily appetites. Children are not equipped to make wise, informed decisions. I am not saying they never make the right decisions, or that they are completely inept, but they are still morally underdeveloped and woefully lacking in experience. Add to that the fact that abstract thinking does not even start working until around 12 years of age, and you have a person in need of correction and guidance. I am of the persuasion that if we train animals to behave, we should also train our children. Should our children behave more poorly than our animals? How to best train a child is the real question.
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I grew up in a home where we did not have a vote on what Mom would fix for dinner, and when Dad said, "Get in the car," we did not ask, "Where are we going?" We were expected to pull our weight and received spankings with a paddle whenever we got out of line. Consequently, we did our very best to stay in line. We all turned out to be contributing members of society who are active in our local churches with funtional families of our own. My parents were not perfect, but I have yet to meet anyone who is!
The Pearls have, by far, what I consider to be the best counsel out there for training children. Basically, they deal with training the parents. Just like the "dog whisperer" has to train the dog owners in order for them to have a well-mannered dog, parents need guidance on how to approach training their children with much more emphasis on positive training and truly taking delight in your children than on punishment. There are three books in the series, "No Greater Joy," and just one "To Train Up A Child." I recommend starting with To Train Up A Child, then progress through the No Greater Joy books. These people understand human nature, God's design for relationships, and what works. I wish I had found these books before I had children, but they did help me tremendously even though I found them after my older two were six and four. I wish I could say I implemented everything they taught flawlessly. Again, no one is perfect, but we should want to do all we can to be the best we can be in any area of life. I cannot say enough about the benefits you will receive from the Pearls' Biblical instruction and practical, everyday, down-to-earth, and sensible approach to raising joyful, respectful, obedient kids who actually like you back and enjoy your company. |